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Afraid of Success

Sunset in Lokanthali
What’s the worst thing that can happen?

  • Travel and end up in North Korean Jail?
  • Limited water, limited food, limited life and plain struggle?

But I’m not afraid of that.

I’m afraid of instant success, luck and gratification.

What if I’ll win a million dollar and everyone around will love me, give me everything I need?

That’s what I’m afraid of.

I know everything in life will fade away eventually and nothing lasts forever. That love, money and success is going to fade away eventually. And when it does, how will I feel?

We all reach the same level of happiness after a huge spike in it. Reaching to the same level of happiness means going down from the current state of elevated level of happiness, which can be pretty painful.

Think about going from million dollars to zero in a matter of weeks.
And it’s only possible if you have million dollars.

If everything goes well, then you’ll be very happy. But that level of happiness won’t stay there forever. You won’t be able to experience that elevated level of happiness everyday. It has to come down one way or the other.

And when it does, what will happen?

You’ll feel infinite times worse than the happiness you received when you won the lottery.

What if it will fall down drastically? Why should we pursue it?

That’s why somewhere I’m afraid of luck, instant success and everything going according to my plan. I’m afraid of success I want so badly.

I will win initially, but fall down after that.

Instead of experiencing success out of nowhere, I’d rather suffer and build a better base for my future self. By that, I mean learn to elevate the level of happiness forever, instead of that initial happiness spike.

I’d rather build a good foundation and base for myself and move further with very little chances of falling down; instead of achieving goal to figure out I’m falling down again.

Build the base, don’t crave success. If you don’t have the base and foundation for success, your success means nothing. It will fall down eventually.

If there’s one thing you need to be afraid of, it’s your luck and instant success.

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