I used to race with friends in school when I was a kid. It used to be challenging for me. I was determined to finish first every time, even if there wasn’t any prize in the end. If I won, I’d be able to say that I won the race. That was it. Nothing else.
Even if there was no prize or anything in the end. I always wanted to finish first. Same with my friends. Everybody wanted to finish first, no matter what.
Sometimes I’d finish first, and sometimes I’d lose. Whenever I finished first, I used to experience something which I wouldn’t have otherwise felt. It was something really deep and satisfying, that I’ve won the race.
I started searching for alternatives to experience the same feeling because it was really exciting and pleasurable at the same time. I wanted that feeling every time, but it wasn’t possible for me to win race every day.
So, I started viewing everything as a race. I hated homeworks very much. I would complete it just for the sake of completing. Did it everyday even if I didn’t like to. I just used to scribble and finish it as soon as possible. I wouldn’t write good or solve problems by heart.
Instead, I started viewing it as a race to experience the pleasure of completing first. I completed homeworks just to win the race against my older self. If I completed the homework in 45 minutes yesterday, I’d try to complete in 40 minutes today. Of course, I didn’t enjoy it, but completed it just for the sake of it. Just like how I didn’t like to race but played it just to experience the last moment of it.
I had to complete homework, so I completed it. That was it. Nothing more. The only reason holding me to do homework was a thought to experience that gratifying feeling at the end.
Slowly, without realizing, I started viewing other stuffs in life as a race. I wasn’t aware of that though. I was sub-consciously viewing everything as a race.
With time I started viewing life as a race.
I knew that I was a kid and I also knew that everyone needs grow up and act like an adult one day. Since, I was viewing everything, including life, as a race. I tried hanging out with college graduates. By that I mean trying to spend time with them.
I used to go out and try to meet big guys because I had to reach at that point one day. Why not start to act like one? And then I’d win this race. All of my friends would still be a kid, whereas, I’d have already become an adult.
I probably lived all my childhood with this mindset. I was taking the Passive mimickry approach with life.
Passive mimickry means simple mindless copying of the most obvious choices the successful person makes, without thinking about the reasons behind the choices. When you see cliques of kids all wearing the same clothes, this is often one or two trendsetters who are seen as successful by many of their peers, who then copy superficial details. Passive mimickry can be because of a lack of other ideas, or because of a fear of being inferior if they don't copy.
I was viewing life as a race and approaching it through passive mimickry.
I made a huge mistake and it took lots of time for me to realize it. I was trying to fast forward everyday. But, I failed to realize the end goal. What’s there in the end of life? What prize do we have?
It was heart breaking for me to figure out that there was only death in the end. So, what’s the reason to fast forward life and not enjoy it? Just to face the bitter reality of death?
So, instead, try and stop your life, take sometime to enjoy it, and fill yourself with positive thoughts. There’s no reason not to. This day is going to pass the way you choose to. You can choose to pass this day in a better note with excitement and joy. Or you can pass it being bored and thinking about negativity. Why leave it with negative thoughts when you can choose to use it the other way.
Hence, I’m stopping time right away, to enjoy life, appreciate stuffs, feel gratitude and live to the fullest extent.
You don't go to an orchestra to listen to the last note. You go there to listen to the build up, the cadenza, and even the stillness the occurs at the end of the piece. Why should life be seen in the same way?
Most people look life as if it is all about getting to a destination, rather than about the journey. Finishing school, graduating, finding that job, and that thing you want. The problem is when you finally do, you'll not even appreciate it cause you'll feel a huge anti-climax just after it happens. And you'll just set your sight for a next destination target.
Instead, How about living in the current moment?
Don't be in a hurry. Life is happening NOW!